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Birth: A spectactor sport?

The Duke Of Marshall

The Duke Of Marshall

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As many of you already know, I'll be having my first child somewhere near the beginning of June. Already a number of people from my wife's side of the family has put their name in the hat to be in the delivery room. Personally I have never heard of such a thing. I have always thought of it just being the father and the mother in the delivery room while the family waits in the waiting room.

So, from those of you who have already been through child birth, is it a normal thing for multiple people to be in the delivery room? Or am I just weird?
 
I suppose each hospital is different, but last I heard it was just the pregnant woman and babies father in the delivery room. The labor and delivery room are sometimes the same room and there maybe different visitors during labor, but last I heard the extras were kicked out during delivery. I recently was one of the extras that was out in the hall during delivery. If there can be more during delivery and you and your wife don't want visitors then make it plain. Goodness, it's not a side show. Just to lay the groundwork, call the hospital and see what their policy is. The hospitals policy may be close to what you want.
 
my wife is going to enjoy weighing in on this one, her second child was a home-birth with friends baking cookies. :D
in my small town in Mn it was a novel thing to allow the husband in, of course that was uncomfortably close to 40 yrs ago.

this day really needs to be all about the mom and what makes her comfortable.
 
Welltan,
That was my thinking on the subject too. And that's eventually what I had to end up telling people: that it was just going to be me and Kim. Just wanted to make sure that I wasn't completely out of line for doing so.
 
Steve,
lol, I'm surprised your bride didn't beat you to the punch on this one.
 
The Duke Of Marshall said:
Steve,
lol, I'm surprised your bride didn't beat you to the punch on this one.
Click to expand...
there are more benefits than just worms for the earlybirds. ;)

just treat the requests from her fam as evidence of their love and support and thank them, would be my advice.
 
Hi Todd. Well having witnessed a bunch of my wife's hospital births I find them pretty weird - there are a whole string of people i have never met before, coming into the room and seeing my wife in various states of undress. some of them have rubber gloves. So I suggest excluding everyone you politely can. Regards, ylop
 
Weighing in as threatened.... :lol:

I clearly have strong feelings on this issue, but I will try to temper them.... (and they said it couldn't be done.... ;) )

I coached birth in five Seattle area hospitals, and was on call with one doc when he had emergencies and no coaches. I am, as my honey intimated, a strong proponent of home birth when it is done right, but that is a discussion for another day....

I agree with Steve that you need to do what will make Kim the most comfortable. And as far as "spectator sport," once upon a time birthin' was the realm of the women folk from start to finish, and there were almost always more than a few present.

Because it is her first birth, it could be a long haul, and dads can get tired. You want to be at your best to be her strength, and having someone to stay with her while you run to get a bite or whatever can be helpful. However, if you DO choose to have it just be you guys, I would do what I could to get to know the nurses ahead of time so you don't have complete strangers calling the shots. I have known some OB charge nurses who would have been better suited for Abu Ghraib. :lol:

For sure don't let anyone on the team, should you form one, with whom Kim is not completely comfortable. And if you or Kim are prone to get into tiffs with your mom or mom-in-law, that will show up in the delivery room, and it just dissipates much needed energy.

Birth is a blast, and may you both have fun even in the tough work of it.

Mazel tov!! :)
 
I was not planning to be present for the birth of my first niece.... however, my brother had called and asked my mother to bring him a plate of dinner to the hospital, and my mother asked me to come along to hold the plate. The new parents had been fortunate to score one of the new spacious "family rooms," designed for both labor and delivery, with comfortable sofas and armchairs for the "cheering squad." When we arrived, my sil was nearing the hardest part of her labor, and asked us to help massage her and comfort her while my brother went out into the hallway to eat. We were not planning to stay, but my sil did not want us to leave, as she was in her most difficult work now. The nurse asked her, "Do you WANT all these people in here?" And my sil answered "YES!" So stay we did. As the baby was coming, I moved off to a chair and tried to avert my gaze, so as to give her some privacy.... but I could not help but to steal a peek now and then, having never witnessed or experienced birth for myself by that time. It was an incredible privilege, and I am honored to have been invited to share it.


However.... when I had my first child, I promised my mother she could be there for my labor and delivery. She ended up making rather a nuisance of herself for the doctors and nurses, and she broke the one cardinal rule we had laid out: My husband was going to announce the gender of our child, but Mom just blurted it out, even before he could see for himself! :shock: :evil:

So when we were expecting our second child, I told my mother she would not be permitted to be present for the birth. Her feelings were very hurt, but in the end it's the expectant parents' decision, and you should not feel pressured to share such a precious and sacred moment if you are not comfortable doing so. If you want to keep the occasion private and intimate, do so. If you want it to be a festive and noisy family party, then that's okay too. Either way, you are NOT "weird!" :lol:
 
Brother Todd....congrats on the coming blessing. My the Lord bless you and momma to be. some simple advice from a dad of 4 grown kids and 4 grandkids, though you have gotten this already.....ask the wife what she wants and who she wants in the room as well as check to she what the hospital will allow and then go from there. My daughter, who is an OB nurse, has told me that the less people in the room that do not really need to be there the better, for they, in their excitment do get in the way of those who HAVE to be there...................Some side note advice.........I know you will make a great dad....BUT........if you haven't already.......get down on your knees now and ask the Lord to guide you in ALL your decissions concerning the raising of this wonderful gift from God.......I know i wish I had when my first one was born but I was real young and did not have anyone offer this advice to me. Had they, maybe I would have done a better job right at the start and not learned things as i went along.

God Bless.
 
I don't know, Todd. I see this as an opportunity.

Let's cash in on this deal....

Top two bidders get "Front" seats, next two get "Standard", and the next two "Economy".

Of course, all the winning bids get a complimentary 5x7 of the event with the beautiful mom, baby, and proud papa with a big "thumbs up"

Just a thought.

Doc
 
When my nephew was born in a birthing center the husbands family (brothers, sisters, parents )and my inlaws were all in the birthing room. They all felt very privilaged to be part of a wonderful 'birthday' and my sister-in-law was glad to have everyone she cared for share her 'day'. I was with my daughter for almost all of her babies. I think it's a great way to share a special time with all the close family.
 
With my first baby, only my husband and mother were in the room, other than the midwife. The eight births after that were various groupings of my husband, mother, sisters, nieces, friends, and a nurse who had never witnessed a home birth but wanted to.

The absolute most important factor is...do whatever Kim wants to be comfortable. She needs to have total control and have a peaceful atmosphere for the birth.

Praying that all goes well!
 
I guess everybody's gotta weigh in with an opinion. *grin* Here's mine.

Had 2 kids biological. One in a conventional delivery room, one in a birthing room. My opinion is that finding the kids under a cabbage leaf has much to recommend it. I also have 2 adopted children, 4 Step children, and numerous foster kids. Hmmm. Is there a pattern here? :lol:

No family other than me -- we lived on Guam at the time. Wife was much more comfortable with/in the birthing room experience. Also, when she went into labor the second time, unlike the first, I immediately took off work and took her walking. And walking. And walking. Beaches, malls, more beaches -- having a medical person check on progress every hour or two. Net effect was that when we finally did go into the hospital, the rest of the process only took a couple of hours -- again unlike the first. So, we think that the walking idea was useful (told us by some wise old folks).

As to the idea of turning it into a spectator sport? Leaving that one alone. :shock: That's why God made waiting rooms and cigars. Cigars especially. Calm the mothers-in-law down!!! :o
 
The most important thing is what your wife wants. If she wants lots of people there, then let it be. If she just want's you, then politly (or forcefully if need be!) say no. A woman needs to be as relaxed and comfortable as possible when she's in labour. Tension does not help!

Bear in mind too that she may change her mind in labour, especially during transition, and then want people to come/leave.

As for me, well I have had a hospital birth and two home births. My first 2 births I was rather erm vocal :lol: and I may have sworn the odd time :oops: . Not something I want my family to witness, and not something I wanted to have to worry about while having contractions! My 3rd birth went rather fast and I didn't have time to be to vocal about it, I was too busy stuck in the moment! I still had my in laws come and pick up my children at 1am and take them to their place though, just in case. Didn't want my kids waking to me screaming and wondering why!
 
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