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Benefits to more than one

WifeOfHisYouth

WifeOfHisYouth

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Female
As a first wife, I tend to focus on what I am losing with the looming plural lifestyle. Today as I was running errands, God gently reminded me of some of the blessings in store for me when the times comes to add a friend. So, I thought it would be fun to start a running list (there may be one already somewhere on the forum- but I don't remember). I didn't post it in the woman's only section because I thought it would be interesting to see what the men would say too.

Benefits to having more than one:
1. Someone to talk to when hubs is working
2. Someone to go grocery shopping with and helps me wrangle the kiddos
3. Someone to go grocery shopping for me while I clean the house
4. Someone to stay home and clean while I grocery shop
 
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WifeOfHisYouth said:
As a first wife, I tend to focus on what I am losing with the looming plural lifestyle. Today as I was running errands, God gently reminded me of some of the blessings in store for me when the times comes to add a friend. So, I thought it would be fun to start a running list (there may be one already somewhere on the forum- but I don't remember). I didn't post it in the woman's only section because I thought it would be interesting to see what the men would say too.

Benefits to having more than one:
1. Someone to talk to when hubs is working
2. Someone to go grocery shopping with and helps me wrangle the kiddos
3. Someone to go grocery shopping for me while I clean the house
4. Someone to stay home and clean while I grocery shop
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How about:
5. Someone to strategize with about correct / gentle ways to inform hubby how he's messing up?
6. peace of mind knowing he's with you or her; no need to get worried when he's working late :)
7. "...a band of 3 is not easily broken..." -Ecclesiastes
8. Knowing the future mother of your children and that she loves them if G-d forbid something happens to you
9. More eyes to watch for warning signs in the teenage years of kids
10. You get more kids but don't have to be ripped apart in the hospital!
 
*The synergy of a fellow wife to be your bestie, your prayer warrior sister, your co-mom, co-homemaker, all around enhancing and enriching literally every aspect of the family and home! ...... not to mention the fact that you won't have to maintain hubby's libido by yourself anymore (you'll get a break from that chore) ;)
 
Slumberfreeze said:
I see grocery shopping is quite an ordeal for you. Would you like to talk about it?
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Haha I was just going shopping and thought how nice it would be to have someone along, then I remembered how messy the house was and how nice it would be to have the house clean when I got home.

rustywest4 said:
*The synergy of a fellow wife to be your bestie, your prayer warrior sister, your co-mom, co-homemaker, all around enhancing and enriching literally every aspect of the family and home! ...... not to mention the fact that you won't have to maintain hubby's libido by yourself anymore (you'll get a break from that chore) ;)
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Definitely not a chore here..
 
12. Someone else to hold the babies.
13. Seeing hubs happy
14. Knowing someone else can frustrate the hubs too ;)
 
15. Getting time to yourself since someone else can be available to entertain the husband and kids.
16. One of you can cook a meal, and one of you can clean up after it.
17. You can learn a lot from the experiences of others, so you can pick up on new recipes, fixes, skills, etc.
 
My post was hijacked! Ha can we separate the topics? @andrew
 
19. More hands make for lighter tasks
20. Two heads being better than one is an old truism but not a necessary stopping point
21. More minds and specialties to chip in on home schooling
22. Serial monogamy leads to more children being abused and ending up in the penal system
 
Praise God if any one of these points encourages you and lifts your spirit to see God’s glory. Maybe I’m in need of correction, but besides what Tina says, the rest of the reasons for rationalizing God’s design is “what can I get from this” which is just fueling the selfishness we’re all trying to correct in ourselves. You’re creating reality by projecting what you want onto the ideal other person who may or may not enter the picture simply because it makes you feel better. That person may have struggles and scars of their own and shouldn’t have to bear yours too just because you’re trying to pretend your not offended by the idea by turning the relationship into a transaction. (Please note I’m not intending to offend or be harsh here, I have a soft spirit of love).

Perhaps instead we could focus more on Tina’s response....how can we help her? Because that’s Jesus’ example. These are my mothers and my brothers - those He continues to sacrifice for, not those He could gain from. So for me, were it to be my Father’s will, I would pray for guidance on how I could serve her, because 1: service in our actions produces the personal growth and humble attitude we all desire and 2: take the focus off of myself because God sent her to us for His Glory, not ours.

Megan inspired this whole thought train when she posted an honest truth about being a 3rd. It made me think of my husband teaching me about acceptance. You can’t begin to change yourself or anything around you for the better until you understand that acceptance is the answer. So I suppose my benefit to being more than one is simply that I would have the opportunity to humble myself and serve my sister in love and acceptance, earnestly trying to be more of a blessing to her than she is to me, because I don’t want it to be about me anymore. Thy will, not mine. Amen.

Thank you for posting this and allowing all of us to think and grow in The Lord! Peace unto all.
 
Tina Galloway said:
I think for us older couples that can't have children be great to find a widow or someone that could be a blessing to the marriage friendship for both as bible is clear we should help these women.
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Whoa!! My church is heavily invested in the belief that taking in widows and single moms is the right thing to do! So wild to see it come up outside of a Sunday sermon or Bible study!!
 
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