Slumberfreeze, just so you know I never "felt" judged by you, the judge at your own risk comment was meant to be taken as a more general statement of my own ignorance (I have no defence of myself, only my faith that I am within his will). I imagine some of the judgments against me will stand, and that some will not, and ultimately God paid for me so he owns me and will come after me if I stray (I really don't think/feel I have a choice in this).
I'm probably a bit on the defensive side because I feel I'm psychologically preparing for the whiplash effect that will come from my family when I begin to try to teach them these news truths. The main attack will definitely be the emotional guilting tactic. I grew up in culture where the women rule the roost, and there are a lot of em. Our immediate culture could honestly be described as christian and matriarchal. I mean my mother and my aunts and the women in general run things there (strong opinionated women are valued). Its always been that way and I don't see it changing. Generally the women are all more educated too. I am going to have to be hard and determined about this, and stand firm on actual law, because of the inevitable guilt attacks that will ensue, and really socially the deck is stacked hardcore against me.
Now I'm all grown up a more then a decade out on my own and I've learned some things. I am trying to find a balance in all these things, but keep in mind I am swinging from a deeply ingrained generally emasculating worldview to finally a sense of empowerment (and a far deeper sense of responsibility before him).
Consider this point about why I spoke so confidently about said pursuits. In a society where polygyny was more commonly practiced and morally acceptable (the society we believe God intended), there would be NO reason to feel moral guilt of any kind in regards to wanting / seeking / making it happen in a biblically outstanding way. In a society where a main measure of a man is in his ability to yield, produce, enjoy, and love Godly family is considered morally outstanding the pursuit of such things is for God's Glory. This is the stance I am taking.
Keep in mind I live with this, a thing I have learned in life, and my whole being continues to be blown by the vastness of it, is my need for the grace of God in through all things. I am seeking to hold onto him through all of this. I will have no idols before him. He is the one, after all, that gave this absolutely brilliant social law that society has all but discarded. It's an altogether beautiful thing.
I'll leave you with this. If this seed has indeed fallen among the weeds (am I judge? I live by faith), then let it be said that I strangled out a multitude of those wannabe trees as I confidently and vehemently sent roots deep and limbs high in seeking the sources of my life: water and light. The fruition belongs to Yahweh, what have I to do but work and seek in faith?