Hello, Moriah! I'm so glad you're reaching out. As I read your post and heard your heart's cry, some thoughts crossed my heart.
First, if your husband is walking afar off from the Lord, he knows it and is miserable--more than you can even imagine. So in your sincere eagerness to share all the exciting things YHWH is showing you in your Bible time, he's perceiving it as an indictment on his own woeful spiritual condition--whether that be walking afar off or never having truly accepted Yeshua as his Saviour. Now I KNOW that's the farthest thing from your heart when you're sharing, but it's very possible this is how he's seeing it.
If he feels like he is not being the leader and head of your home or feels inadequate in his leadership or ability to provide, he would also see you sharing you new found nuggets in the Word as you trying to lead him or make a silent statement about his lack of leadership, or even trying to show how spiritual you are. Again, I KNOW this is not your intent. These are all thoughts the enemy sows in his mind. You so want and desire his fellowship in the Word. Every wife who loves the Lord and her man wants her man to be in the driver's seat and craves the feast in the Word that comes from studying together.
So, be wise and find other ways to build communication, together time, and bonding. What does he like to talk about? What does he like to do for activities? What is a DVD, movie, or show you could watch together with some snuggle time? I know you want to share what you've found in the Word, but because it's become a point of contention, don't go there, and resist the temptation to judge him because you can't share with him on these matters right now. In time, God can make a way. Get a journal and write to your heart's content everything just exactly the way you would say it if you were sitting right there with him and sharing the new, exciting things you've learned in the Word. I know this takes more time than just having your Bible study. It takes more time to write it down than to say the same exact words to him, but do it. You'll find a release in your spirit because you're sharing (with Yeshua, of course) and it will free you to spend energy on ways to creatively connect with him that won't bring contention. You may even find yourself writing prayers that you are praying for him as you journal. As you see Yeshua begin to work in his life you can journal that. When you're so hurt or frustrated over something he just said or did but have no one except Yeshua to talk to, journal that. You may have to wait until the end of the day after the kiddos and hubby are asleep, but try to journal something from each day that you've seen YHWH do plus the good, the bad, and the ugly. It keeps you from stuffing down inside which will destroy your health. In this whole process of journaling you've created a healthy, positive setting for you to still grow, thrive, and then be able to look back and specifically see where God has brought you from.
Pray about fasting and don't do it just because someone thought it was a good idea. There are many different types of fasts. Don't start a fast unless you have permission from the Holy Spirit. When you do fast, have a specific need in mind, write it down as a special request you are laying before the Lord, and listen carefully to the Lord during your time of fasting. It's best to have a length of time you feel you should fast before you start. It could be a simple as one meal a day, but be sincere about it. Do your best to keep the fast between you and Yeshua. Referencing the above line of thinking--your husband might take this as another way for you to show him just how spiritual you are--which of course would not be what your intent is. Again, be wise. Don't give the enemy any ground on which to camp!
Prayer is your very best weapon in this spiritual warfare you are facing. There is nothing to small to bring before your Yeshua. Be willing to bare your soul to Them. You'll probably weep buckets of tears and wish you held stock in KLEENEX, but remember that They bottle our tears. When we get desperate before the Lord GOD, it moves our Papa.
Psalms 51:17 "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise."
Psalms 34:18 "The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit."
Isaiah 57:15 "For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones."
Never forget who you are and whose you are! A song I often sing to myself is Neh. 8:10b
"...for the joy of the Lord is your strength." You must allow the joy that comes from knowing Yeshua flow through your soul, for only then will you have the strength to do warfare on your knees! Move forward on your knees. I love you, dear sister, and will be holding you before the throne!
