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1955 magazine article

nathan

nathan

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Please note I didn't post this in the Marriage or Family Forums! And I'm not commenting...

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The Good Wife's Guide
  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favourite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.
  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
  • Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.
  • Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper etc and then run a dustcloth over the tables.
  • Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel like he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
  • Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair and, if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimise all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.
  • Be happy to see him.
  • Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
  • Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first — remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
  • Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax.
  • Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
  • Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
  • Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day.
  • Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
  • Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
  • A good wife always knows her place.
GoodHousekeeping.jpg

GoodHousekeeping.jpg

GoodHousekeeping.jpg
 
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I saw a very similar thing about 15 years ago and actually remember thinking it was a rather nice ideal to aim for.
Although a lot of those suggestions are over the top, no need for anyone to be a door mat, but i do think a man that is working hard to support his family deserves to come home to a well kept house and a decent meal.

Along similar lines is this gem from youtube... cracks me up every time! http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=OH0umbPfiJY
 
My wife is Jamaican and ladies there seem to know how to take care of their man! Why? Perhaps their values are a little closer to that 1955 magazine article than the average North American woman.

She's royal, so royal, and
I want to make her mine.
She doesn't need anything,
she's one of a kind

(lyrics from one of our wedding songs)
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Why tell you this? I think there are a lot of good things said in that article and I wish more people understood.


Shalom,

brYce
 
I agree with bryce and melanie on this. I think that the article is basically correct, even though the language and tone sound a little outdated now. Are we not called as wives to please our husbands? I certainly try to, in my marriage, in accord with scripture. It would be better if more wives behaved today like they used to in the past. Does a patriarchical household not require a wife to obey her husband, that is, take her spiritual leadership from him? If she is truly spirit-filled, her life will be joyous, not the life of a "doormat".

Or am I just hopelessly old-fashioned?

Bless all,

Stella
 
retour said:
Or am I just hopelessly old-fashioned?
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There's nothing wrong with being old-fashioned! :D Look at what Peter told us,

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any {of them} are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be {merely} external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but {let it be} the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. (1 Peter 3:1-6, NASB)
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I think that a woman who is comfortable calling her husband "lord" is on the right track. If she's calling him "lord" then she's probably treating him in a way a person would treat their master. I think it's beautiful. When my wife treats me like that it reminds me how I am to treat my Master. And, when I think of her loving me so well I am reminded of how I am to lay my life down for her and love her with every ounce of my being.

Ah, He is soooo good to us. :D
 
Thank you Bryce. Thinking some more on this, the couple depicted in the article remind me very much of my own parents, and I imagine they were like many couples of their time. My mother did perform all of the duties described in the article, and I try to do the same for my dear husband. My parents had a very happy marriage, with each of them performing their God-given duties. What can be wrong with that?

I know the article seems old-fashioned now, and slightly humourous, but that is because it completely omits the spiritual element. It is an entirely secular article, with no reference to the Lord or to marriage as a holy union. That is why "A good wife knows her place" sounds so blunt today. If we add the spiritual element, we can simply interpret this as "A good wife's place is by her husband's side, following his guidance, obeying his commands".

Bless you all,

Stella
 
Yeah, we kind of poo poo those ideas in part of our minds because of the indoctrination we've received through the media and other systems which push the feminist agenda. I've heard that the powerful bankers of the world have pushed feminism so that there would be more people working and, therefore, more people to tax. After all, it's the taxes of the nation that pays the banks back that lend money to the governments. Oy vey!

On the same note, here is something a friend of mine reposted on Facebook recently:

I was on a retreat with a bunch of singles, and the theme of the retreat was relationships, which as you can imagine was of great interest to a bunch of singles. The retreat speaker looked at this group of seventy people in this room, and he divided us in half.

He put the men on one side and the women on the other side of the room. He said, "I'm going to ask you a question. I'm going to ask you to choose between these two bad feelings. If you had to choose, would you rather feel alone and unloved in the world or would you rather feel inadequate and disrespected?"

He turned to the men and he said, "Okay men, who here would rather feel alone and unloved?" And every man raised his hand. You heard a giant gasp from the women's side of the room. The men would rather feel alone and unloved than . . . than to feel inadequate or disrespected.

For women we most want to feel loved and cherished. This was like foreign land to us. We had no idea how they could choose this. He turned to the women's side of the room and he said, "Okay women, who here would rather feel alone and unloved?" I think only three or four women raised their hand, and you heard the giant gasp from the men's side of the room. He said, "Okay women, who here would rather feel inadequate and disrespected?" Almost every woman raised her hand.

The highest need for men is to feel his wife's respect and trust and admiration and honor. So we can go, as women, overboard trying to show we love them, but if we don't also show that we respect them and maybe we criticize them in public or question their decisions all the time, they're going to feel disrespected and won't feel loved. (Shaunti Feldhahn)
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I think this article is great! The only thing that makes me uncomfortable is letting him go wherever and stay out as late as he wants, but when I don't nag him about where he goes, he wants to be with me more. If I make our home a haven of peace, why wouldn't he want to come home to me? The tone is a little harsh, but a selfless attitude can make a dramatic difference to all the family members.

"The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands" Proverbs 14:1

"A merry heart does good like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones" Proverbs 17:22

It is my opinion that if my spirit is broken, it not only dries up my bones, but the bones of those around me. I see a broken spirit as being angry, depressed and expecting others to meet my emotional needs. That's very easy to do when I'm trying to homeschool, raise toddlers, be pregnant (not right now), the dog did something, the chickens got out, the toilet backed up and I burned dinner. I don't know why, but I want to tell him all about all of it the second he gets home. Even before he gets home, for that matter, because thanks to cell phones I can break him down with my problems before he even leaves the job site.
I'm not saying that it's wrong to share with him what I'm dealing with, but there is a proper time for it.

There is a lot good in making the home a haven of peace for my man. All I can do is speak from my own experience. When I'm cranky with him, he's cranky with me and the kids are cranky with each other. When I put my husband's needs ahead of my own, he feels loved and respected, and in turn, shows more affection and appreciation for me. As a result, the kids are naturally more joyful from seeing their parents respecting each other and being affectionate. I always thought the saying "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" meant that the family was supposed to make me happy. Now I know that by me practicing the Fruits of the Spirit in my service to my husband, he is happy with me, I am happy with him, and the children are happy because they have an overall sense of security.

All in all, I think this article is about building your home and having a merry heart.
 
Wonderful, DeeAnn!

Such wisdom is the reason why Paul, and no doubt patriarchs blessed with such wives throughout history, have counseled women like you to teach the younger ones.

Blessings,

Mark
 
May God bless you greatly DeeAnn, for seeing these things and treating your husband and household in such a beautiful way!

But I would add that there is a time for everything, as well as that I haven't seen false joy bring anything good, so it shouldn't just be put on. If one finds joy in the Lord and takes joy in the toilsome labor and work of life, then that is real joy and can be kept with stability... but I've seen false joy... been married to false joy... and it's not good.
 
Oh, yes. Paul can tell when I'm just doing my wifely duties out of obligation usually before I even realize that it's not sincere, and he calls me out on it. I needd my joy to be real in order to do my job well. My joy is only a product of repentance.
 
*Applause*

*Shakes DeeAnn's Hand Vigorously*

*Hands DeeAnn a trophy, a ribbon, and a ham*

Paul, where on earth did you find a girl like this?...

...and next time you're there can you get me one too? :lol:
 
I keep telling you guys that my wife has single friends that love the Lord and they are all right here in northeast georgia. Waterfalls, Appalachian Trail, Blueberries, and a raw milk dairy close by. What else is there that you need? You can even live in a tent and wash in the creek on our property while you are here courting the lasses.
 
Paul not the apostle said:
I keep telling you guys that my wife has single friends that love the Lord and they are all right here in northeast georgia. Waterfalls, Appalachian Trail, Blueberries, and a raw milk dairy close by. What else is there that you need? You can even live in a tent and wash in the creek on our property while you are here courting the lasses.
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Bit of a problem there. God put me over here and is directing me in the opposite direction of the USA (quite literally directing, with a map even... I should share that story sometime). But, if you could put me in contact with one that isn't stuck where she is and doesn't mind long-distance courting, that would be nice.
 
we do know one that likes to go to africa on missions trips to do medical work, but none of the singles know about our support of plural marriage, so you would have to explain that one yourself :D .

If I go out on a limb myself and explain that part of you to any of them, I might as well just be doing it for myself! ;)
 
I can explain such things myself. I've done it plenty of times before... and a few times got relatively good responses. However, I always run into the problems of Family, University, and Location. Many never want to live away from their family (except for the time required to get a degree)... most want to spend years in university and years more working as a single woman to pay off the debts caused by university before getting married... and the rest don't want to leave the USA.

I've gotten past the polygamy thing a few times, but never those three... especially University. Really, all the good Christian girls seem to listen to society telling them the point of life is to go to university, and if they haven't gotten pregnant yet they can start thinking of marriage by the age of 28 or so. It's really sad.
 
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