Then you can compete with whoever she moves on to. If you’re a real catch, what have you to worry about?
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Support New to all this and afraid to speak publicly
- Thread starter indigenouspolygynist
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Appreciate you, Brother.
Hmmm... yeah. That sounds pretty good.
This is a feminist viewpoint believing the grass is greener on the other side. The reality is that men and women have different roles and responsibilities. Men have been given more power and are placed above women but with greater power comes greater responsibility. If you have a problem with your role that a rebellion issue with our creator.
Women were biologically created to bear and raise children. Is this a hard job, yes it can be. But we are biologically equipped for it and if we have a connection with God spiritually equipped as well. You comments seem to imply you'd rather be doing something else in life, what are you comparing your current life to? What would you rather it look like? Expectations and comparisons are the biggest creators of resentment and dissatisfaction in life. It prevents us from appreciating the blessings we have around us constantly.
Coming from a dysfunctional family background you have a lot of legwork to do in trying to create a functional family. Speaking from experience. You know a lot of what you don't want but have no training or understanding of how to have the opposite. We go to what is considered normal and functional by the world and which is often often unrealistically portrayed by media. This is feminized and subversive and often opposing to biblical standards for relationship hierarchy and dynamics. As we grow in biblical understanding we have to deprogram ourselves, again, from an incorrect worldview. Its a never ending process.
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This whole thing is surreal. Less than a week ago, she was so angry about this that I had decided to drop the idea completely so I wouldn't hurt our marriage. Now it seems we're completely aligned on this issue after many hours of conversations. I don't talked this much since we dated. It feels really good to be spending this time together.
We haven't officially made a final decision yet, but I'm pretty confident now that we're going to go through with this.
When you really consider the arguments, it seems that the monogamy only view is actually really toxic for women. A woman in a monogamous marriage is expected to stay at home completely alone with the kids every day for decades, bearing the entire load of the household with the man helping with the occasional chore. That's not healthy for women. It seems like the women actually get more out of this arrangement than the men do.
Now that I've realized all these things and studied what the bible says, I want to go preach this to the world. I'm convinced that this is God's true plan for marriage, and it's so beautiful.
We'll be praying for F2. In a few more weeks, I'll have to bring her into this circle. I pray that she will receive the truth and that God's will will be done, whether it's for us to be together or not.
My wife's change of heart appears so miraculous, it's hard to imagine that this is not God's will for our lives. If it is, I believe He will prepare F2's heart for our message.
I don't want to fool myself into believing she will be receptive immediately. It will probably come as a huge shock. But if it's God's will, I believe He will work in her heart. And I pray that I will be able to receive the answer if it's a no.
We haven't officially made a final decision yet, but I'm pretty confident now that we're going to go through with this.
When you really consider the arguments, it seems that the monogamy only view is actually really toxic for women. A woman in a monogamous marriage is expected to stay at home completely alone with the kids every day for decades, bearing the entire load of the household with the man helping with the occasional chore. That's not healthy for women. It seems like the women actually get more out of this arrangement than the men do.
Now that I've realized all these things and studied what the bible says, I want to go preach this to the world. I'm convinced that this is God's true plan for marriage, and it's so beautiful.
We'll be praying for F2. In a few more weeks, I'll have to bring her into this circle. I pray that she will receive the truth and that God's will will be done, whether it's for us to be together or not.
My wife's change of heart appears so miraculous, it's hard to imagine that this is not God's will for our lives. If it is, I believe He will prepare F2's heart for our message.
I don't want to fool myself into believing she will be receptive immediately. It will probably come as a huge shock. But if it's God's will, I believe He will work in her heart. And I pray that I will be able to receive the answer if it's a no.
We actually just had a long conversation about this tonight. We've both made a lot of progress in our understanding of God's design of genders. It's too late to write out all of the thoughts we discussed, but it's truly amazing how perfect God's design really is.
My role is a woman is not to critique or speak on the issues that men may have fulfilling their biblical roles. That is the job of God and other biblically grounded men.
Yes problems crop up when women are selfish and refuse to submit to Gods biblical role for them in the biblical hierarchy.
I'm sorry you cant see any beauty in the analogies. Rather you are viewing them from a feminized worldview.
If you have an issue with how God created you and the role He has for you as a woman than that is a rebellion issue against Him, just as Eve rebelled in the garden. She didn't want to be like or equal to Adam. She wanted to be equal to God.
Well the culture and churches do a great job of programming women into feminists, so it would only be fair if we can have the same in the opposite direction.
I agree with this. I hear our embittered churchy Feminist "friends" express feelings of overwhelm and isolation, and it's like "well you enforced this path... the Bible is right there and if you wanted to be obedient to the Creator life would be easier.
**Click**
Yes Sir! It all makes sense once you get your thinking lined up with God's Word.
I’m trying very hard to reprogram my mind on these issues. I’m praying a lot about this issue and am doing my best to submit to God and my husband. I’m grieving the loss of what I thought my marriage was supposed to be, and the breaking of our wedding vows (forsaking all others, till death do us part). Comments about how I’m a rebellious feminist are not helpful and only make me feel more hopeless and depressed on this issue. They’re delaying my progress on changing my mind on this issue. I’m not a rebellious person, I’m a believer submitted to Jesus and his word.
To me you sound very normal, your feelings are very relatable and understandable. Try not to pay too much attention to the "extremeness" of some of the comments. Good luck on your journey
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Something to be aware of.
If the following is true and commendable 1 Peter 3:3-5: Do not let your adorning be the outward adorning of braiding the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine clothing. 4 But let it be the hidden nature of the heart, that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in the old times, the holy women, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
To do the opposite is not commandable.
The question may arise, is there consequence for not commandable behavior.
In cases of parents and rebellious child, God felt so strongly about this, that He made a law giving provision to punish rebellion with death. Deuteronomy 21:18-21.
If God reacted so strongly to rebellion of son to his parents, would God have strong feelings of rebellion of wife to her husband when expectation is submission. It is best not to find out and may our primary motivation be willful loving submission. many times submission begins where agreement ends
This thought was so real to me that I was afraid that I am loosing my wife to lymphoma and pregnancy complications that we lived through this summer. Because of these thoughts I was interceding for my wife with several days fast.
By God's mercies and kindness we were blessed with our first child after 14 years of marriage and so far report of 5 inch lymphoma between lungs and another one around pancreas is positive one.
Treatment was completed. My wife has been fighting me on polygyny understanding for the past 6 years, but great strides have been made.
Psalm 32:9
9 Do not be as the horse or as the mule
that are without understanding,
that must be restrained with bit and bridle,
or they will not come near you.
May we all be commandable faithful servants of God that the gentle prompting/whisper of the Holy Spirit be sufficient to direct our each step.
If the following is true and commendable 1 Peter 3:3-5: Do not let your adorning be the outward adorning of braiding the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine clothing. 4 But let it be the hidden nature of the heart, that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in the old times, the holy women, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
To do the opposite is not commandable.
The question may arise, is there consequence for not commandable behavior.
In cases of parents and rebellious child, God felt so strongly about this, that He made a law giving provision to punish rebellion with death. Deuteronomy 21:18-21.
If God reacted so strongly to rebellion of son to his parents, would God have strong feelings of rebellion of wife to her husband when expectation is submission. It is best not to find out and may our primary motivation be willful loving submission. many times submission begins where agreement ends
This thought was so real to me that I was afraid that I am loosing my wife to lymphoma and pregnancy complications that we lived through this summer. Because of these thoughts I was interceding for my wife with several days fast.
By God's mercies and kindness we were blessed with our first child after 14 years of marriage and so far report of 5 inch lymphoma between lungs and another one around pancreas is positive one.
Treatment was completed. My wife has been fighting me on polygyny understanding for the past 6 years, but great strides have been made.
Psalm 32:9
9 Do not be as the horse or as the mule
that are without understanding,
that must be restrained with bit and bridle,
or they will not come near you.
May we all be commandable faithful servants of God that the gentle prompting/whisper of the Holy Spirit be sufficient to direct our each step.
I’m choosing to submit to my husband. I’ve told him that if God would call us to this lifestyle then I will not get in the way of it happening. I will go through with it. It’s just tearing my heart apart and it feels like it’s killing me (maybe in a literal sense too, considering how high my blood pressure readings have been lately).
HannahMiller
Member
Submission has to be given it cannot be taken, cause than it is force not submission.
You can however receive submission from someone motivated by love or fear. Shaming someone (calling them rebellious, selfish or anything else you throw at them) is a control strategy motivated by fear from the person shamming. Submission given to you, born out of fear carries fear's DNA. Who is the father of fear? Who is the father of love?
It is not beneficial to receive submission from fear.
Children are called to obey their parents not to submit to them as far as I am aware. Woman are not children! They are full functioning adults, in loving care which is provided for them, cause they are created more vunerable, to enable them to carry out their role.
That aside, I am sorry to hear of your wifes health troubles and difficulty conceiving. That must have been heart wrenching to go through!
Congratulations on your baby! And I will pray for your wife's ongoing heath.
I do not necessary speak to your situation but for the benefit of whoever may read it in the future and need to hear it.
If fear alone, then I agree, hence reference to the psalm passage.
At the same time we know fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.
And then there is
"Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they watch over your souls as those who must give an account. Let them do this with joy and not complaining, for that would not be profitable to you."
A husband is a leader, and to do otherwise, opposite of obey and submit, "would not be profitable to you." Whatever that means.
Thank you.
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HannahMiller
Member
Hi, you are right to pull me up on my comment, thank you! I am sorry for my comment. I was reacting to past abuse of woman, through spritual coercion and control that had nothing to do with you. I should be taking that to God instead of unleashing at you, sorry!
I don't think you need to be sorry, you made valid points. One could as easily say that the other post belonged elsewhere as the lady relevant to this thread has said that repeating the point on submission is not helpful.
I would also point out that the very word submission implies a difference in opinion or will that is being voluntarily given up, NOT a complete unity in ideas or opinions from the start. If a man cannot hear someone else's idea....then he will never know when submission happens. Kind of like an old quote about empires and dominion that goes "They make a desert and call it peace." It is far easier I think to submit after being heard than to be treated like your thoughts are worthless. Women like to feel known. If YHWH Himself says to mere mortal men "Come, let us reason together" it seems reasonable to expect an audience with our husbands.