I was the one who suggested polygyny to my sisterwife and talked about the whys and benefits. It was not specificly trying to influence her toward us, as I never expected her to choose us.
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Support New to all this and afraid to speak publicly
- Thread starter indigenouspolygynist
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I share your endeavor. Our situations are similar right now. I Will be praying for desired outcome for your family.
But not now. Get some other things in order first
He can't wait because F2 will cool off. You are assuming it's better to wait. Why?
Her mother sickness isn't reason for no action by him. It's not like her mother died today.
And why would F2 suffer additional emotional load by finding married man wants her? LoL. She could already faced same situation either as mistress offer or as potential wife. People don't speak of this, so it happens more than you think.
She can always cut it off.
Woman facing man who wants her. Should happen regulary, unless testosterone in population has fallen.
By the way, oxytocin is responsible for sex act itself. Testostrone is responsible for seeking new sexual partners.
All I see here is caution, reasons not to act. Men here are behaving as women.
And this is primary proof you are totally unqualified to know whom to ask for advice.
Women are infamous for describing ideal man, only to finish with man totally opposite from description. It's so pervasive it was even mentioned on this forum.
You are asking for approval of others men wives. You should lead. Which you are avoiding.
If you were leading, you would ask something like: my plan is X. Does anybody have better idea? What do you think?
You are asking women to choose for you.
You have literally spent 10X - 100X more time on what to do than actually doing.
And you so focused on F2 comfort than you missing needed attraction.
A quick update - God has been making some rapid progress on my heart on this issue. I have been praying he would change my heart (and all 3 of our hearts) to be in accordance with his will, and that he would help me get over all the negative emotions and accept this issue quickly whether just in theory or if I would ever need to put it into practice. There are a lot of things I do like about the idea of having a sister wife - especially having a lifelong friend and a helper with the kids. I would be excited if a regular platonic friend came to live with us. But I’m having an extremely hard time with the thought of having to share my husband physically and romantically. Even just the thought of them kissing in a mild affectionate manner makes me feel very hurt and angry, let alone anything sexual. How do you women handle this issue? How do you not feel like you’re being cheated on by your husband constantly?
For my wives, they are both ardently monogamous - which is exactly how they should be in their minds; married to only one husband. They both had to overcome the emotional preconditioning this ungodly world system tries to conform them to by keeping the Word of God central in their minds. It's easy to tell whether their minds are captive to the Word of God or captive to their emotions and the world system, and I can tell you which it is. You can overcome that ungodly preconditioning by being disciplined in your thinking - constantly reminding yourself of the truth; God never ever set up monogamy-only as the standard for marriage. He established marriage as the social structure for families; to multiply and fill the earth, and the number of wives a man has is between him and his Lord. If you lose sight of that, your emotions will get the better of you. May Almighty God bless you as you seek to walk according to His Word.
I agree completely on this. She at least has to know about my intentions soon or she's just going to move on.
This was not a problem for me.....because to me her loving him, and him loving her, means that I can count on her staying. It means she belongs. It can never be cheating me as love is not a thing of finite proportions...and he still loves me.
I first came to this idea from a place of empathy for my husband's old gf. I knew that in times past...Bible stories days...that some women had the same husband...and I wondered if God might still purpose that for His children. For myself, my sisterwife seconding my high opinion of my husband was rather affirming. I want her to know the love, security, and joy of being his. I commited to him years ago, and we belong together. She commited her life to him over 4 years ago...and THEY belong together too.
We both have children that are his. This is what happens when your family has another woman CHOOSE to do life with you. I think it's beautiful, so do some that see our kids loving on the little ones. My daughters in law both have a little brother in law who is potty training....and a sister in law who is 3 and has big round blue eyes and LOTS to say. We have grandchildren older...and younger....and cousins too. They all LOVE having others to play with.
I would be happy to share more in private message after you get that option.
This is the analogy I used in text to try and explain it to my sisters in law.
My hysband and I have always felt blessed by Bible studies....even if we still end up seeing things differently from the people we study with. Here are some of my thoughts this year.
As we start a new year I hope and pray all the blessings YHWH has for each of us. Jesus is the truth, the life, the way. He said the truth would make us free.
I’ve been wondering, in light of the depopulation project, to “save the planet” and how people look at big families now…how things might be in 2000 years, if the world all adopted China’s one child per family policy. Just imagine after all those generations acting like more then one was wrong, how might people react to a couple choosing to have a second? I can well imagine the questions “Was something wrong with their first?”
“Why weren’t they satisfied with the one they had?” “How does the first one feel about the second?” “Does he (or she) feel he wasn’t good enough?” “That poor second child. It has to live with sharing it’s parents. Is that even a fair thing to do to the first?”
And the likely conclusions too…
“That family is weird, we don’t want them around our child.
We don’t want our child to think that is ok”
I’ll bet churches that had for hundreds of years supported the population controlling policy could give lots of reasons why having two children would be bad. Just look at Cain and Able! Or look at what happened when Gideon had 70 sons. God obviously judged him.! One son killed 68 of them leaving Gideon just one righteous son, because that is God’s perfect will for mankind!"
To families that have several children this sounds crazy!
…and anyone that knows me might guess where I’m going with this. You already know that a biblically styled family has long appealed to me. I know that I’m unusual, and that most women don’t feel this way and would rather not talk about it. I know most men avoid the subject too…and I could guess at why.
Maybe because of the horror stories run by the media that try to paint any man with more then one wife as a pervert and abuser of women…and sadly often even children.
Maybe the aversion to it is because since the Roman Catholic church almost two hundred years A. D. came out and said that anyone claiming it was a moral practice for a man to have more then one wife was to be shunned, and all the people gradually acquiesced to that edict and abandoned the practice.
Maybe people avoid the topic because feminism has influenced ALL in our modern culture…and even christian women rule their homes to some degree now by guilting and shaming men for being men…not understanding or appreciating the differences in the respective nature and rolls that God designed for men and women.
How many people now are so disconnected from biblical culture that they assume Boaz was a successful land owning Batchelor, or widower? Or think that in the parable of the ten virgins those were 5 bridesmaids that went into the marriage chamber with the groom?
Oh, but that was a parable about the kingdom, Jesus was NOT saying it is OK for a man to marry five women!
So, he used a sinful analogy for a kingdom parable?
While I know most will not appreciate me bringing it up…again, and see no reason why we should worry about it, proverbs 17:15 says
“He who justifies the wicked, and he who condemns the just, Both of them alike are an abomination to the LORD.”
ALL TRUTH is important, and the truth is liberating.
If many of the men that wrote sections of the Bible would not be welcome at your church. If your congregation would break fellowship with a man who was called a friend of God, or a man after God’s own heart because he had “too many wives.” If you think your church would bar Moses from leadership in “your assembly,” because he had two wives …yet God did not!..are you confident the “church” has this issue right today?
According to Timothy, forbidding marriage is a sign of apostasy. Where in history has that prophesied sign been fulfilled?
Proverbs 18:17 says
“The first one to plead his cause seems right, Until his neighbor comes and examines him.”
I’m sure you have heard people preach against (or express their opinion against) the practice, but have you ever heard the other side?
The man who did the linked video has recently done many rebuttal videos rebutting the false preaching that would condemn the biblical patriarchs.
Please just consider watching the one I’ve linked here. It is primarily talking about the consequences of society using Rome’s standard for marriage rather then God’s.
Ten reasons why Christendom must discuss polygyny/polygamy.
I know
This comment is such a great argument. I couldn't have said it any better. I love your analogy of condemning people with multiple children. The arguments really are the same. And I agree - what if a church would actually shun Moses if arrived in their congregation. It's mind blowing to think about. We love the bible, but not the men who wrote it?
I had started writing something earlier and forgot, and somehow it was truncated.
This is kinda personal as it reflects my thoughts and feelings....but I already put it out here once.
OK...I don't want to overload anyone here...but I do like poetry. 
I didn't take time to go over all the punctuation and such...but poetry is personal, and can be liked .... or not, without having to be perfect.
It isn't all polygamous poetry, but some of it is from a poly minded mom.
I liked this, and thought I would share it.
I found it in a book The Best Loved Poems of the American People.
A WOMAN'S QUESTION
Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
ever made by the Hand above?
A woman's heart, and a woman's life-
and a woman's wonderful love.
Do you know you have...
I didn't take time to go over all the punctuation and such...but poetry is personal, and can be liked .... or not, without having to be perfect.
It isn't all polygamous poetry, but some of it is from a poly minded mom.
I liked this, and thought I would share it.
I found it in a book The Best Loved Poems of the American People.
A WOMAN'S QUESTION
Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
ever made by the Hand above?
A woman's heart, and a woman's life-
and a woman's wonderful love.
Do you know you have...
Not necessarily. But you know your situation better than we do.
I think she's likely to. She's relatively young, but at an age where it would be natural to become impatient to get married. I'm not the only man out there. She knows I'm married, so it wouldn't make any sense for her to wait for me. If it's true that she has feelings for me, it's more likely that she'll grieve for a bit and move on.
Thank you @Joleneakamama for sharing that. I’m finding everyone's comments to be helpful in helping to change my mind and accept more truths of the Bible I’ve never considered before. Thank you all.
Admittedly, this isn't easy. My wife recognizes that me talking to another woman who wants to pursue plural marriage isn't cheating, but she admits that it sometimes still feels like cheating, even after loosing me from a monogamous vow made to her in ignorance when we were married. I do wonder where our modern romantic ideas of cheating come from.
Either way, we're all products of the age in which we live, and pursuing something so countercultural undoubtedly will require a lot of prayer and deprogramming.
That's what it is. One's entire mental structure needs to be reprogrammed so that the mind functions biblically. Think biblically, Act obediently.
"Romantic love" = "Roman love."
Romantic = Roman
It was the pagan standard for the wives to demand sole dedication from the husband. The Greco-Roman culture was largely dependent on goddess worship and worship of female beauty.
The men were not monogamous in nature. They had whores, mistresses, (boys), temple prostitutes. The Greek wife didn't expect that she was the only woman her husband was giving his seed too, but those other women were "out there." Their children were bastards with no inheritance, they weren't a competition for her own children.
The Romans created state laws that a man could have only one wife. Sound familiar? It was about state control.
The state cannot easily control a system of fruitful patriarchs whose every household is its own militia.
The Romans also enjoyed ease of divorce and remarriage. They were not monogamous in practice, only in certificate. Yahweh and Jesus say very plainly that the practice of divorce and remarriage is abomination.
You mean like putting away the old man and becoming the new man in Christ? Like some kind of being born again or something?