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Indigenous wonderings

H

HannahMiller

Member
Hi, I wanted to introduce myself. I am exploring polygyny to prepare for living and working in a traditionally polygynous community and wanted to understand polygyny better through a Christian lens.

Personally I dont think my own heart would survive in a polygynous set up but prehaps thats a luxurious western notion that marriage is more than just a way to survive.

It doesnt seem to me that polygyny is immoral from a Christian view point The things that I am hoping to work out though are:
What are the effects of polygynous marriages on all involved. What social effects does polygyny have vs monogamy.

In the culture I am exploring, traditionly woman are married at puberty and often betrothed at birth. There is not an unmarried state for woman. Men however may be unmarried and may not get access to a wife or wives till much later. Young girls then are married to much older men, often quite a lot older. This also brings up in me, what does God say about boundries with, what we would call children and sex and where is that boundry.

Also on my mind is, is polygyny what God wants for these people or is it just an option that is allowed if needed but as the people become closer to following God and his new testament teachings and further conform themselves to His likeness does monogamy become a better path foward for their society.

I am not expecting outright answers to these questions at the moment but wanted to introduce myself and what I am exploring. Thank you kindly for having me on your forum!
 
bigonlife1981 said:
Hello and Welcome! Wow, what a niche field of work your looking to explore!

I am sure you will have a chance to sharpen your iron here. Following this with interest.
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Thank you for welcoming me. It is a pretty specific area of interest but very important to me!

If you have any input or information that would help answer these questions you are welcome to send it to me.
 
HannahMiller said:
Hi, I wanted to introduce myself. I am exploring polygyny to prepare for living and working in a traditionally polygynous community and wanted to understand polygyny better through a Christian lens.

Personally I dont think my own heart would survive in a polygynous set up but prehaps thats a luxurious western notion that marriage is more than just a way to survive.

It doesnt seem to me that polygyny is immoral from a Christian view point The things that I am hoping to work out though are:
What are the effects of polygynous marriages on all involved. What social effects does polygyny have vs monogamy.

In the culture I am exploring, traditionly woman are married at puberty and often betrothed at birth. There is not an unmarried state for woman. Men however may be unmarried and may not get access to a wife or wives till much later. Young girls then are married to much older men, often quite a lot older. This also brings up in me, what does God say about boundries with, what we would call children and sex and where is that boundry.

Also on my mind is, is polygyny what God wants for these people or is it just an option that is allowed if needed but as the people become closer to following God and his new testament teachings and further conform themselves to His likeness does monogamy become a better path foward for their society.

I am not expecting outright answers to these questions at the moment but wanted to introduce myself and what I am exploring. Thank you kindly for having me on your forum!
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Howdy! I think I may have referred to you in the past as Sister, as I assumed you were a Christian as well. However, your introduction is a bit unclear. Forgive me if I assumed incorrectly. Either way, thank you for writing this introduction.

As far as what folks are or aren't called to, I think it varies. Something many people neglect to speak much about in Quiverfull and/or Polygynous circles is the gift of chastity. Both Paul and the Lord Jesus Christ were single by all accounts, and mentioned that those who are single can focus on serving the LORD. If I had the gift of chastity, I would definitely be single.

A wife and children are such a wonderful blessing from the LORD, but it really does take up a lot of time. There can be a lot of stress and cognitive load spent working through domestic matters whereas a single person could focus on missional pursuits for the Kingdom of God. Nevertheless, the eye has no right to say to the hand 'I have no need of thee' and so on.

Welcome!
 
PilgrimJustPassingThru said:
Howdy! I think I may have referred to you in the past as Sister, as I assumed you were a Christian as well. However, your introduction is a bit unclear. Forgive me if I assumed incorrectly. Either way, thank you for writing this introduction.

As far as what folks are or aren't called to, I think it varies. Something many people neglect to speak much about in Quiverfull and/or Polygynous circles is the gift of chastity. Both Paul and the Lord Jesus Christ were single by all accounts, and mentioned that those who are single can focus on serving the LORD. If I had the gift of chastity, I would definitely be single.

A wife and children are such a wonderful blessing from the LORD, but it really does take up a lot of time. There can be a lot of stress and cognitive load spent working through domestic matters whereas a single person could focus on missional pursuits for the Kingdom of God. Nevertheless, the eye has no right to say to the hand 'I have no need of thee' and so on.

Welcome!
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Thank you for welcoming me! I am a Christian, I am not sure what exactly you are confused by?

Yes being single is an overlooked option for sure.
 
HannahMiller: What social effects does polygyny have vs monogamy.
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You're living in one of them. We have record numbers of lonely single women yearning for a relationship, both inside and outside the church. We have four generations or more of men and women who couldn't maintain a marriage for their lifespan. We have no fault divorce. Incredible numbers of male homelessness and suicide. Inverted households with gender roles swapped out. Kids are sterilizing themselves. Vast swathes of women are mentally ill, boasting about it for sympathy. Men who don't know how to take care of a family, are encouraged not to, and don't like the women. Women who are paid to destroy their marriage and rewarded greatly for sabotaging their kids.
 
Off-Grid Artist said:
You're living in one of them. We have record numbers of lonely single women yearning for a relationship, both inside and outside the church. We have four generations or more of men and women who couldn't maintain a marriage for their lifespan. We have no fault divorce. Incredible numbers of male homelessness and suicide. Inverted households with gender roles swapped out. Kids are sterilizing themselves. Vast swathes of women are mentally ill, boasting about it for sympathy. Men who don't know how to take care of a family, are encouraged not to, and don't like the women. Women who are paid to destroy their marriage and rewarded greatly for sabotaging their kids.
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Thank you for your reply.

"We have record numbers of lonely single women yearning for a relationship, both inside and outside the church."

Ok, so if high quality men (married men with a proven record and a well looked after family) took on more woman that problem would be solved and the lower quality men would just miss out or have to lift their game to get a woman rather than a woman having to lower her standards to not be alone. I would also add to that, that the entire weight of who the woman marrys not being hers alone to carry (as in her parents or Godly elders help her with that decision).

"We have four generations or more of men and women who couldn't maintain a marriage for their lifespan."

Monogamy has been the predominant marriage structure for longer than four generations so I am not sure I would attribute monogamy to this.

"We have no fault divorce. Incredible numbers of male homelessness and suicide. Inverted households with gender roles swapped out. Kids are sterilizing themselves. Vast swathes of women are mentally ill, boasting about it for sympathy. Men who don't know how to take care of a family, are encouraged not to, and don't like the women."

Our society is so messed up and we are all suffering because of it! I struggle to see how its all related to marriage structure though. It may be related to having strong, God fearing males leading their family and society but does just giving some if them extra women really change that? Maybe it does, I am just not sure how?

"Women who are paid to destroy their marriage and rewarded greatly for sabotaging their kids."

You will have to expand on this one for me, as I am not aware of what you're meaning here.
 
HannahMiller said:
Monogamy has been the predominant marriage structure for longer than four generations so I am not sure I would attribute monogamy to this.
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HannahMiller said:
Our society is so messed up and we are all suffering because of it! I struggle to see how its all related to marriage structure though.
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To quote Alison Armstrong who has studied men for many years "Men play for points." A marriage structure imposed that does not encourage growth, or exceptionalism in men will never motivate them to greater efforts. It is basically socialist, because it pretends to provide more....but never delivers. Many women see that "The best men are taken" and are sometimes completely uninspired who the ones "still available."
HannahMiller said:
"Women who are paid to destroy their marriage and rewarded greatly for sabotaging their kids."
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A member of the forum here shared once that he applied for benefits at one point of financial hardship. They told him that all he could get was less than 20 bucks as I recall 13 something if I remember right. Someone stopped his wife on their way to the door and told her that if dhe LEFT HIM there would be LOTS OF HELP AVAILABLE for her and her child.
 
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