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Insistence on a separate home

steve said:
A desire that I had before I ever even knew about the option of polygyny was a western town.
Every adult pick out the storefront that they wanted for their personal room.
The Restaurant had the communal kitchen, tables and benches.
Chapel/schoolroom was its own building.
Pool hall as a family room.
General store was central storage.
One lady that I discussed this with chose the gunshop as her room
The more medically inclined might choose the Dr office as their front.
Haberdashery for the craft oriented.
Etc.
boardwalk/porches with chairs and rockers down the whole row.
Infinitely expandable, just add another building on the end.
Hotel for guests and older teenagers that had earned trust. Double as dorms.
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I really like the idea of this😀
 
MemeFan said:
Maybe this would be acceptable:

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Something with style:

View attachment 12255
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This is along the lines of what I'm doing with my land. There are small bedrooms arranged in a circle around the master bedroom. Sometimes someone will want to retreat for quiet, or sleep during the day, or privacy, or because they aren't feeling well. So all the small private bedrooms for wives exist attached and accessed through the master bedroom. It isn't built yet but my land is paid off and I've been building other infrastructure (*cough* *cough* polebarns).

Right now it's all about polebarns for wool and fiber work, gym, hay storage, garden structures. It's a lot of buildings. I'm leaving the best parts of the land vacant for now because I'll want those later for the big fancier houses, and as we move on to the bigger homes then the smaller starter homes we are in now will be for the older kids.
 
paterfamilias said:
Thanks
I have had one second wife and a couple of live in very near misses. Several...as in more than I remember...women who made a lot of claims and big talk talk about liking our family structure and philosophy. As someone who has also had a divorce though, I very much do not wish to try to sidestep incompatibility issues or core differences in how we see a plural marriage and family. So it was way easier than it might seem to say thank you for your interest but no..mwe are not compatible.
I think that my not being moved by the idea of just gaining another sexual partner helps. That said though, I will admit that the ones who were simply motivated by having children immediately...with someone or anyone...might have moved my needle a bit more. But in the end, the risk of not being able to be a match for one and other is just too high to gamble on the happiness or my access to children in the future should a breakup come.
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Yeah this is a lot to juggle and pay attention to. One recent woman who was interested in joining my family essentially just wanted to have kids and I didn't feel that she wanted to integrate into the family. The energy just felt like a bad situation. I want to have a lot of kids but not have a lot of kids in some other state because the mother got what she wanted and fled.

It's really easy to say "no." And it's really hard to be trusting when I already have a dream life built up.
 
Off-Grid Artist said:
Yeah this is a lot to juggle and pay attention to. One recent woman who was interested in joining my family essentially just wanted to have kids and I didn't feel that she wanted to integrate into the family. The energy just felt like a bad situation. I want to have a lot of kids but not have a lot of kids in some other state because the mother got what she wanted and fled.

It's really easy to say "no." And it's really hard to be trusting when I already have a dream life built up.
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Agree...
While it might seem hypocritical from a very narrow point of view in that I am also very eager to have lot more kids, if a woman is Only interested in kids...while I get it...but only sees me as a potential vehicle to that end, that is a problem. Big red flag.
The most recent one I felt more than a little uncomfortable about. She was very explicit about the fact that she did not care about any other aspect of the marriage or even if there were to be a marriage at all. Her only interest was that she immediately have a baby and be supported in being a stay at home mother with children back to back as long as she could. While I am quite happy to support a wife who would like her focus to be on motherhood the first few years, I don't think that I am unreasonable in my desire for her to wish to be my...me personally...wife and friend as well at very minimum.

The handful of occasions where I have encountered that sort of situation I have just felt uncomfortable and bad for the direction our world has taken.
 
One picture: married room, for the husband and those partaking of the marriage bed that night (or day); men's quarters, for sons, menservants, male guests; women's quarters, for wives, daughters, womenservants, female guests, unweaned children; guest chambers for married guests.
Influenced by how we grew up, personal spaces would be everywhere: our place at the table, our workshop space, desk space, bed space, spaces where these or those things of ours are kept, cars for those who have their own car.
 
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